i haven't showered since thursday, so i guess that's a bad sign. i feel bad again. and i don't feel like being around people anymore. and school is a drag. and there's a beast in my head telling me the wrong things. i'm sort of worried. i don't want to become some blob that lurks in my room forever and just dies off. i tried "getting out more" and that helps until i'm alone. i need to not be alone anymore or i get scared. that's why i'm on the fucking computer so much. i can talk to living things. and not just hear my thoughts in the quiet.

maybe i'll go wash myself.